The Color of Harmony
by supercellchaser
Summary: "The current battle though, seemed to only be escalating. Castiel was having trouble standing in the shadows while Dean continued to tear his baby brother's heart to pieces." Sam/Castiel H/C Angst, naturally.


Disclaimer: Not me, not I, not mine.

Reviews are good. They make more Sastiel!

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"_What color is the light of harmony underneath this darkened sky?" _This Runs Through- A Prayer Upon Arrival

* * *

Castiel didn't consider it his duty to interfere in the tribulations of the Winchester boys. They usually worked their problems out on their own, without Castiel having to put himself in the middle of the epic battles.

The current battle though, seemed to only be escalating. Sam was obviously close to a breaking point, the more sensitive out of the two brothers, and Castiel was having trouble standing in the shadows while Dean continued to tear his baby brother's heart to pieces.

Castiel knew Sam had only the best intentions but Dean was apparently blind to that. He tore Sam apart piece by piece while Sam fought tooth and nail to better himself, to fix what he had broken.

Dean was having trouble forgiving his brother for his sins and it angered Castiel. Had Dean never learned that it was not his place to judge? God was the only one that held that power but Dean Winchester tried to carry it himself.

God had already forgiven Sam, of that Castiel was sure but Dean couldn't and it angered Castiel more and more to see Dean breaking his brother's spirit down.

Sam didn't fight back most of the time. He quietly accepted Dean's harsh words because he felt that he deserved them. With each argument, with each hurtful word thrown in his face, Sam was wearing more and more thin. Sleep escaped him nearly every night. Castiel would sometimes watch Sam at night as he tossed and turned in bed, nightmares eating away at him.

Sometimes, unable to help himself, Castiel would sit silently on the edge of Sam's bed, his fingers gently placed on the boy's forehead, his dreams projecting into Castiel's own eyes.

His dreams held scenes of helplessness. Sam tied down while Lucifer or an angel ripped his older brother to shreds in front of his eyes.

The nightmares and lack of sleep were wearing Sam down more and more by each passing night and Dean's anger was only wearing him down more.

Sam was close to breaking, of that Castiel was sure.

They had been at odds with each other for a while now. Both had severely frayed nerves. Attempting to alleviate a war between Heaven and Hell would bring most humans to their knees and the Winchester boys, though faring considerably well, were tired and suppressed anger was seeping out.

They did not know how much Castiel knew. Castiel preferred to watch from a distance, knowing that if he made his presence known, anger would be held in even more and Castiel knew enough about human emotions to know that holding in their feelings only led to more problems.

So he watched from afar. Watched as hurtful words were thrown and tears were fought to be suppressed.

He found it harder and harder to stay in the shadows while Dean continued to vent his anger out on Sam. Harder to stay in the shadows while Sam mutely took the abuse.

Castiel watched the most recent fight silently. He stood in the middle of a dirty, rundown motel room watching the anger escalate. The boys could not see him but he could see and hear everything.

Sam sat silently on the edge of one of the two beds, his hands folded and his eyes focused on the floor. Dean paced back and forth across the room spewing reprimands and curses at his brother. Sam said nothing and it hurt Castiel to see Sam's hands gently trembling.

"I don't even know you anymore, Sam." Dean fumed. Sam's hands continued to gently tremble but he said nothing.

"You're not the same person you were and it sucks, Sam. I can't even look at you anymore without feeling like you're something I should be hunting."

Sam's trembles worked their way up his arms, his head sinking lower.

"Are you even listening to me?" Dean yelled and Sam nodded, still saying nothing.

"Sometimes I agree with the angels, sometimes I feel like you are nothing more than an abomination."

Castiel gently shuddered. Dean wasn't holding back and Sam wouldn't be able to take much more.

A single tear dropped down Sam's pale cheek and Castiel had to fight not to interfere.

Dean sat down on his own bed heavily, his back to Sam.

"Sometimes I wish you would just say yes to Lucifer so I can say yes to Michael and everything will be over. I won't have to worry about you anymore."

Sam's body froze instantly. Castiel could hear his heartbeat thundering in his chest.

Sam stood up slowly, wavering on his feet. He looked exhausted and Castiel knew he had reached his breaking point.

Without a word Sam left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Dean let out a shuddering gasp, resting his head in his hands. "Oh, God. What did I do?" He whispered to himself.

Castiel decided this was a good time to make himself known.

"You have no idea what you have just done, Dean Winchester." Castiel glared. He knew that Dean had just completely shattered Sam. There was no doubt in Castiel's mind that Sam would do something reckless in his broken state.

Dean jumped, lifting his face out of his hands.

"Cas, I…I didn't mean to say that."

Castiel was furious. Dean had no right to treat Sam in this manner. "But you did. You have sent him over the edge."

"Please Cas." Dean whispered brokenly. "I didn't mean it. Go get him. Please."

Castiel's eyes narrowed. "I do not believe you deserve to have me bring him back here. I do not believe you deserve the opportunity to try to redeem yourself."

"I'm sorry, okay!" Dean yelled. "I've just been under a lot lately. After everything he has done, can you blame me for being mad?"

"Yes. I can blame you. It is not your place to judge him, Dean Winchester. It is only God's place and you, in your infantile mind, seem to believe that it too is your place to judge the sins of others. You could not be more wrong."

Dean stood up, pacing back and forth as he had earlier.

"I'm just tired, Cas." Dean started. "I just want it to be over. I didn't mean for it to come out like that but I _do _kinda wish it was over and the only way for it to be over is for me and Sam to say yes. I didn't mean to say it like that to him, but I just want it to be over."

Castiel had to work to keep his anger under control. "After everything I have done for you, you wish to say yes?"

Dean froze. "I…"

Castiel cut him off when he grabbed the oldest Winchester brother and slammed him against the wall.

"After everything I have sacrificed, you wish to give up? You wish for your brother to condemn himself?"

Dean blinked, surprised at Castiel's anger. "Condemn himself? What do you mean?"

Castiel's eyes widened at the man's stupidity.

"If Samuel says yes to Lucifer he shall be condemned. You do not think that saying yes to the ultimate evil will condemn ones soul?"

Dean gaped. "I didn't think…"

Castiel cut him off again. "No! You did not think. Now you have broken your brother in ways that you cannot even imagine."

Castiel released the trembling man.

"Please, Cas. Go help him. Not for me, you don't have to bring him back. Just please help him before he does something stupid."

Castiel nodded, still glaring and with the soft fluttering of wings, he was gone.

* * *

Sam stumbled along a wet cobblestone paved alley, gripping the brick wall to steady himself as he fought for air. He knew Dean was disappointed in him but he had never thought Dean would say what he had.

Sam moved further down the deserted alley, farther away from the people bustling down the quaint little downtown street. Turning the corner at the end of the alley, Sam found himself facing another wall. A dead end.

Sam let out a scream of agony, slamming his fist against the moldy brick. Dean had been his rock and to hear that Dean wanted him to say yes. It was too much.

Sam slid to his knees, his cheek pressed still against the brick siding.

He had torn Dean down to this point. He had sinned and there was no way for him to redeem himself. If this is what Dean wanted then it would be wrong of him to do anything else. He'd do this one last thing for his big brother.

"Luc…"

Sam was cut off by strong hands yanking him off the ground and slamming his back against it. He cried out at the sudden attack, only to be silenced by Castiel's lips crushing against his.

Sam lost all his will to speak, to even breathe.

Castiel pulled slightly away, his eyes boring into Sam's.

"You will not do this."

Before Sam could retort, Castiel gripped Sam's hair in his hands, silencing him in his own angelic way once again.

Sam didn't fight it. He didn't have the strength to.

Castiel pulled away, gripping Sam's face in his hands.

"Why are you Winchester men so idiotic?"

Sam blinked as Castiel pressed Sam's head into the crook between his neck and shoulder. He didn't know how to respond.

"Why are you so prone to shattering your own lives? What do you think say yes will result in, Sam?"

"It's what he wants." Sam murmured into Castiel's shoulder. Bone weariness overcame him and he found himself sinking into Castiel's capable hold. The angel lowered them to the ground, still holding Sam against him.

"Dean is wrong, Samuel. You both are. Dean expresses his emotions by saying things he does not mean and you blindly go along with them."

Sam's body began to tremble, he was so tired.

"He did mean it." Sam whispered. "I've broken him in so many ways and he's right. He deserves for me to give him his final wish."

"He was not right and neither are you." Castiel alleged firmly. Sam shook his head and Castiel snapped.

He gripped Sam's shoulders and shook the young man gently. "Listen to me, Sam Winchester. You and you brother are two of the most clueless humans I have ever come in contact with. I do not see how either of you can so quickly want to destroy your lives like this."

Before Sam could speak, Castiel continued. "You will not speak. You will listen and I pray this will enter into your thick skull."

"You will not say yes to Lucifer and Dean will not say yes to Michael. Do you understand?"

Sam opened his mouth to disagree and Castiel gently placed his hand over Sam's mouth, silencing him.

"I could not bear you saying yes, Samuel." Castiel whispered, gently carding through Sam's hair. "You mean too much to me. Seeing as you Winchester's ignore your own needs, thinking of only others, can you understand that I cannot stand to lose you?"

The desperation in Castiel's eyes was enough to break even the strongest men and Sam found himself nodding, his body shaking violently.

Castiel smiled as he pulled Sam against him once more. He soothingly rubbed Sam's back, trying to relieve the tremors.

"Let's get you back." Castiel whispered kissing Sam on the top of his head and instantly Sam was standing back in the motel room, being supported by Castiel, unable to support his own weight.

"Sammy." Dean came quite literally out of nowhere, pulling Sam away from Castiel and into his arms.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean anything I said." he said, desperately clutching Sam's body to his.

"It's kay, D'n." Sam slurred. Dean held Sam at arms length, worry etched in his features.

"What's wrong, Sammy?" Dean asked as Sam fought to keep standing. The events of the day had worn him out.

" 'M fine." Sam murmured. He heard Castiel say something and Dean reply but he was too out of it to understand what they were actually saying.

Castiel must have assured Dean that Sam was okay because the next thing Sam knew, he was being led to the bed furthest from the door and gently pressed down on it.

A hand that he knew belonged to Castiel rested gently on his cheek while Dean pulled a comforter over his body.

Feeling content for the first time in a while, Sam let himself drift off.

* * *

"What happened?" Dean asked quietly as he sat on his bed watching Castiel run his hands through Sam's hair.

Castiel seemed reluctant to answer but in the end it seemed he overcame it.

"He was going to say yes."

A violent shudder worked it's way through Dean. He couldn't imagine his baby brother being worn like a cheap suit by Lucifer.

"I can't believe I did that to him." Dean whispered, his head falling into his hands.

"Your brother is quick to forgive Dean. He already has."

Dean nodded. "I don't deserve it."

"No," Castiel pressed. "You do not, but we must not dwell on whether or not you merit it. We instead must dwell on the fact that your brother _has_ forgiven you."

Dean nodded again. "He's always been that way. He never holds grudges. Even with our dad. He never showed it but I knew he forgave Dad even after he slammed that door shut when Sammy left for Stanford."

"Your brother is truly remarkable." Castiel agreed.

Dean sighed and continued to watch Sam sleep, Castiel's hand now resting on Sam's cheek.

"How'd you get him to change his mind?" Dean knew better than anyone that once Sam made up his mind, he was near impossible to convince otherwise.

"I asked him to."

Dean smiled. He didn't question the way things worked between his geeky brother and his brother's geeky angel, he just let them go in stride.


End file.
